Monday, April 19, 2010

12:20 AM 4/20/2010

These are the first thoughts that I have spoken into existence in the collection of ideas, words, videos, poetry, thoughts, etc. that I call my blog.

My name is Brennan Utley.
That's all you need to know.
This is just the beginning.
Remember that.

I want to start things out by explaining the title of this blog (pick a side).
Last semester I wrote a collection of words/poetry and entitled it: Pick a Side Vol. 1. Read as little or as much as you want.
Here it is in it's complete entirety:

+ / -

Pick a Side

A set of poetic instructions and questions

Vol. 1

Intro (Listen to fantastic music)*

*It makes everything sound and taste better, including words.

I’m a stand in for my own body.

(anchor) (Chess) (teeth)

(Winner) (Dust)

(Photograph) (Firefighter)

Replace words.

If I you sat at a desk, would you still need protection?

Moving pictures get boring to some, after a while.

Are insects more knowledgeable than we give them credit?

How do my knees bend this way?

Warm laments twist backward like a satin cannon.

Churn out art inside your distant mind.

Break bones.

Break bones and Oreos.

If I had a million dollars, I would buy myself some rain.

And after that, I’d die of seasickness.

Symbols need something magical.

Why is life so obsessed with death?

Light crunch,

If that’s what you’ve waited for.

Light lunch,

If that’s what you want.

Slow symphonies,

Utter apologies.

All I want is someone,

Then maybe not.

Benjamin!

Benjamin enlighten me!

How about touching the sky!?

You should try it sometime.

Sleep.

Sleep some more.

Listen to me.

Die some more.

I need to write.

If I didn’t I’d never stare narcissistically at the mirror.

I am the owner of a car.

Transportation.

Movement resides within my bones.

(And my muscles)

I thought you should know.

Have you enjoyed my mind?

Bleeding white and jet-black.

I’ll never feel this way again.

Again, and again, and again.

You still only want to be my friend.

Is this ok?

Use this, ok?

Find me ok.

Shine down with everything you need.

I’ll bleed out this disease.

The smirk works when you feel like smiling from ear to ear, devilishly.

Will anyone ever read this?

Depth is one letter away from Death.

Remember that.

Sad, with tears.

Happy, with smiles.

Confused, with me.

We show no emotion.

We love you (a lot).

We all show our faces (in parking lots).

Hold my hand like a child.

Fill me up and let me down.

Force me in and let me out.

Forget the silence.

Letters form words,

Before forming sentences.

Just like lies form truth,

In the cell of my own prison.

Puttin on my shoes,

I’ll forget about you.

Puttin on my shirt,

The fellin gets worse.

Puttin on my socks,

The room gets hot.

Puttin on my mask,

I want me back.

You’re so far away.

I hope you’ll stay.

Phrase.

Word.

Death.

Day.

Never.

Say.

Never.

If.

You.

Mean.

What.

You.

Say.

Death = Bad

Sadness = Envy

Hope = Technology

T.V. = Coke Machine

Set = Sex

Forward = Never

I = Me

You = See

So = We

Can = Be

I = Love

You= No

This sentence will change meaning as soon as it hits you.

Eye vomit.

Vomit in my eyes.

Clean!

Cloud cover is overrated.

Just like anything I’d ever need…

Hearts are harder to draw than you’d think.

I wish they weren’t sometimes.

Repeat me, slow and cold.

One line.

Two lines.

No lines.

Five lines.

End of poem.

Enjoy it.

Enjoy all of it.

Stop it.

Like it.

Eat it.

Caress it.

And you’ll see,

The man I can be,

When I’m asleep,

(On the job).

I decided not to pick a side so I decided to draw circles instead.

With every word,

With every phrase,

I dance inside the haze.

With every flower,

With every noise,

I’m still afraid.

Can you see me?
Even from that far away?

O.k.

Please let me be a genius.

I’m nothing without you.

You’re everything, remind me.

You always remind me.

Can you read this?

Curtain call.

Breaking the fourth wall.

Poetry is theatre,

Like art and politics,

And nakedness.

Creak my neck.

Break my bones.

Bust my lungs.

Set my cigarette.

Burn my books.

Cook my cat.

Dance my anger.

Forget my loss.

Paint my toes.

Loose my job.

++++++++++++++

Everything changes when someone’s watching.

When will my hunger be satisfied?

When will I be O.K.?

Not today.

Obviously I can’t think straight.

Soap.

Soap sentences.

Soap (operas.)

Soup musketeers.

Too much VIOLENCE!

If acid stole the radio who am I to blame?

If Jackie Chan is angry can I still have a sunny day?

Crime and punishment.

Bleeding blisters.

Cherry red.

And scarier than Halloween.

Rob me like a criminal.

I promise I’ll come awake.

(Again!)

I think.

I thought.

I knew.

A lot.

I think.

I wish.

I saw.

So what!?

Skate on over.

Shake it out.

Shake it out some more.

Shake me out.

Write less music.

More words.

Language needs more possibilities.

More truth needs neck braces.

More suction cups.

That’s what society needs!

More suction cups and feeding tubes.

What a long drive.

What a freeze-dried,

(Romance.)

What a longing I once had?

What the f***?

Warm smiles.

A head.

Diesel fuel.

Aren’t I cool?

Aren’t I radical?

Aren’t you sad?

Oooooo you make me so MAD!

When I’m mad I draw circles.

So much is going on!

So much!

Man.

When this gets here,

When the sun hits the debris!

Woohoo!

It’s goanna be acid control.

It’s all I’ve ever known.

Hopefully it’s not like me.

Hoping for nothing.

Red means Go!

GO AWAY!

I draw circles when I’m lonely*.

*(constantly)

This is the Ending

+++++++++++++++++++

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